


What We Hide

by foggynelson



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-06
Updated: 2017-10-06
Packaged: 2019-01-09 23:13:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,081
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12286227
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/foggynelson/pseuds/foggynelson
Summary: When Simon started high school, he never thought he would be anyone. Middle school and elementary school both taught him to be small, to hide himself. And he was good at it.





	What We Hide

**Author's Note:**

> Can you believe? Me? Posting something? Especially saphael? If this isn't an alternative university I don't know what it could be.

When Simon started high school, he never thought he would be anyone. Middle school and elementary school both taught him to be small, to hide himself. And he was good at it. He only really felt like himself when he was singing or when he was with Clary.

It was his singing that pulled him out of the nobody status. Clary had begged him to perform in the junior talent show. Clary had signed up and she was going to pick three people from the audience and draw caricatures of them. Simon loved the idea and just prayed Clary didn’t pick on him for that.

Simon thought about what to perform. He’d agreed to do it, or at least audition, although he doubted he would get in. He tried to find the perfect song, jumping from his favourite Broadway hits to songs that were constantly playing on the radio. But no song felt right. 

Which made it even more surprising that when he did perform, it went so well. People came up to him for weeks after, telling him great he did. The drama teacher begged him to audition for their production of Legally Blonde. So Simon did. And Simon was cast as Emmett Forest and he did well and just suddenly? People knew Simon’s name. Simon was? Someone.

Not in the same way that kind of friend Jace Lightwood was. No, Jace was a football star and everyone knew him and anyone attracted to guys was definitely attracted to him. So Simon didn’t consider himself popular, not really, but he was known. So that was cool.

Senior year started off slow and seemed to drag. Simon had dreams of college and his life beyond this. He was planning on staying in New York, applying to Columbia and NYU. The thought of being too far from his family was hard. Clary was planning on staying in the area, too, which fueled his decision to stay.

The issue was... Like. Simon is smart. He’s always been smart. But paying attention in class has never been his strong suit. He was good with numbers and facts but it took longer for things to sink in. English was the hardest for him. Trying to understand what people meant behind their powdery language. 

When Luke - or, as he should call him Mr. Garroway - recommended a tutor, Simon was immediately against the idea. He was almost done with school! He didn’t need any help! But when Luke talked about how him failing the class could take away graduation, his college dreams, Simon gave in and agreed.

Simon had met Raphael before. They had talked a handful of times, small comments on the weather as they waited in line for food or questions about when the math assignment was due. He was always nice and Simon sometimes wanted to talk to him, get to know him more, but finding the right thing to say was always so hard. And Simon was still so good at hiding himself that it was just easier that way.

They decided to meet in the library after school. Simon spent the day complaining to Clary about how he didn’t want a tutor, despite obviously needing one. Clary was sympathetic and Simon was grateful until she said, “Plus you get to spend time with your crush so that’s nice. What I wouldn’t give to spend the day with Izzy...”

“Yeah, you’ve got it bad for her,” Simon replied quickly before: “Wait, did you just imply I have a crush on Raphael?”

“Well don’t you?” Clary responded, looking up at Simon, grinning.

“No,” Simon replied, the word quick from his lips. 

“Okay,” Clary responded, shrugging her shoulders. 

“I don’t,” Simon protested. “I barely know him.”

“Like that’s ever stopped you before. Anyway, I’ve got to head out. Let me know if you want to hang out this weekend.” With that, Clary walked out and Simon sighed before making his way to the library.

Raphael was already there. Simon spotted him immediately, which was a weird sign considering Simon did not know him very well and did not have a crush. Obviously. Simon took a few breaths before walking over. He slid into the seat next to Raphael, the desk already covered with books and papers.

Simon smiled as he said hello and Raphael starts off straight away with, “How far have you read of Jane Eyre?”

Simon looked down as he replied, “Like twenty pages.”

Raphael sighed. “We’ve got a lot of work to do,” he said, but his voice doesn’t sound rude or annoyed. And then, without skipping a beat, Raphael was off again, talking and asking questions and Simon did he best to follow along.

Simon didn’t think of the time as they work until his phone rang. He looked down and saw his mother’s name and photo. He answered and did his best to keep the conversation short. Finished, Simon hung up and banged his head against the desk.

“You all right?” Raphael asked.

“My mom just left for temple and I had promised I would go this week but I’m never gonna make it time by subway. Fuck.” Simon proceeded to hig his head against the table another three times.

“You want a ride?” 

“You have a car?” Simon replied, surprised.

“Yeah. I help out my mom a lot with driving my brothers around and other errands. It’s a piece of shit, but it should get you to temple before sundown.”

“You’re a lifesaver.” The two stood up and grab their things before heading out, Raphael leading the way. He wasn’t wrong - the car is runned down, old. But Simon couldn’t care less.  
It’s not a long drive and Simon directed just where to go. The sun was still visible when they pulled up. Simon looked over at Raphael and smiled. “Thank you so much. Did you wanna come in or anything? I don’t know if you’re Jewish or…” Simon trailed off.

“Catholic,” Raphael replied. “Maybe some other time I could, though? Gotta pick up one of the siblings from a friend’s.”

“Cool, that would be great. I’m looking forward to it.” Simon got of the car and waved before closing the door. Simon watched as Raphael drove away. 

Simon quickly pulled out his phone as he walks to the entrance. “You’re right,” he sends to Clary. “I got a fucking crush.” The put his phone in his pocket, pulled his kippah from out of his bag, and walked inside.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading!!! Come join me on tumblr [@andvsamberg](https://andvsamberg.tumblr.com/) and talk to me and send me prompts!!


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